Lifestyle

Now that graduation is quickly approaching, I have been thinking about how my life will be different once I graduate. College and being in school in general has really determined my lifestyle. There are 3 things that I've noticed.

1. I don't really know how to live without a to do list.

I'm a list person.  Lists help me get organized and stay organized.  But they also help me know what I need to do and prioritize.  For as long as I can remember, I've had to put my homework and things for school on my to do list.  I have to check my to do list every day, multiple times a day.  Carry it with me anywhere I go.  Once I graduate, I won't need to do that anymore.

2.  I don't know how to live a life that isn't planned around school and homework 

 Ever since grade school, work comes before play.  If I'm not done with my homework, I don't do things.  If I have an early school day the next day, I don't go out that night.  Homework and school has pretty much dictated my life, but soon, that is no more. 

3. I don't know, as much as I used to, how to have fun.

Because of the lifestyle of college, I feel like my sense of fun, and knowing how to have fun, has been muffled a little.  There are always things that I want to do and things that I don't want to do, but those desires and that spontaneity is stifled because of things I have to do.  

I love college, but it's hard.  I love learning, but it's hard.  I love school, but it's hard.  But I can do it, I can finish, I can thrive, I can do all things.

Billboard Inspiration

I remember seeing this billboard on the side of the highway, and I don't remember where it is, but I've seen it multiple times.  I never thought anything of it, but then one day, it hit me and this is one of my new favorite billboards.

I realized that this isn't true.

I have already met God.  I have already lived with Him and known Him, I just don't remember it right now. But when I do die, and the veil is lifted, will I recognize Him?

"Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father and how familiar His face is to us." ("Jesus Christ-Gifts and Expectations," in Speeches of the Year, 1974, Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1975, p. 313.)

Will that be me?  Will I know Him that well when I see Him?

I want to do the things that I need to to know Him.

Math that I can do!

So every Thursday, I go to a group therapy session called "Anxiety and Stress Management".  Each week, the therapist asks if there is anything that anyone wants to discuss that day (it's mostly the same people every week) and then we discuss 2 or 3 topics.  YESTERDAY, it was so good! We talked about dealing with unwanted thoughts, dealing with trust issues, and the one that hit me the hardest, was dealing with new/unfamiliar situations.

He talked about a math equation that works with dealing with new/unfamiliar situations.

Anxiety= Importance(The Unknown)

So he talked about how to get the level of anxiety to go down.  You can start by decreasing the level of the unknown.  So gain knowledge, research and talk to people.  You can also decrease the level importance.  Put it into perspective and realize that it isn't as important as it feels.  

I went up and talked to the therapist after and asked him how that applies to what has been scaring me.  I told him that I am going through the temple on December 19, and that it is scaring me a little. I told him that my concern was that 1.  I can't decrease the importance, because it is extremely important.  2. I can't decrease the unknown because there isn't much that I can know. 

So I asked him how I can decrease the anxiety and fear if I can't follow the equation.  He showed me how I can.  He talked about how people do secretly record the endowment ceremony.  So if I REALLY wanted to go find it that badly, could I? Yes.  But will I? No.  And why?  Because it will take away from my experience.  He asked me how my relationship is with my parents.  I told him it was good. He asked if I could trust them, and I said yes.  So he said that if I can trust my parents, and my older siblings, then that's all I need.  I can learn from them what I can, and then trust that the people that will be with me in the temple (so you guys :D) will take care of me and help me.  

It was so cool to have that discussion with him! I'm not terrified, but I'm a little worried.  I just don't like new situations.  But knowing that I will have family there that I trust, makes it so much better :) 

"The best gift in life is a SECOND chance"

The other day, I was driving home from work and I saw a truck that was smashed into another car.  After my wreck in February, I have always seen wrecks differently.  I have seen smashed cars, but this was the first time that I looked in the driver side window, and saw the airbag out.  I then looked at my steering wheel, and was hit by such a strong flashback.

I promised myself after that event, that I would always live life remembering that life is a gift.  I can't waste it.  I will live to say "Remember when I..." instead of "Remember when I could have..." I will do whatever I can to help those around me.  I will do my best to stay positive and embrace the life that I have been given.

I still have flashbacks, and bad dreams of the day that I totaled the white car.  But this was another reminder, that I was so very lucky in my situation, to not be hurt more than I was.

The best gift in life is a second chance.  "Life always gives you a second chance.. it's called tomorrow"

A First that I Wasn't Expecting

Well, yesterday, was a first that I wasn't expecting! So, our friends Jarred and Morgan came over.  Before they got to our apartment, Jarred had texted Hannah (my roommate) and asked her to cut her hair.  She has never done it before, and she was super nervous.  She was watching youtube for so long to try and figure out how.  She told them that they needed to bring certain things for her to do it.  They were under the impression that she could just use our kitchen scissors...  She attempted it,  but I was right next to her,  giving her ideas because of things that I have seen Mom do when she was cutting Dad's hair

Then Jarred said "Rachel it seems like you really know what you are doing.  Can you cut my hair?"  I was like uhhhh. haha But Hannah skyped her friend, who is really good at cutting hair, and that lady told me what to do, and I did it.  I was so nervous, but he kept saying that he wanted me to do it.
And he liked it! Apparently I did a good job!

I Love to See the Temple

This past Friday was my last day of work.  Although, I only worked 2 1/2 hours.  I asked to get off at 1:30 so that Mom, Dad and I could go to the temple.  We wanted to go, together, before I go back to school.  I got off work at 1:30, got home at about 2, and we left home by about 2:30.  We got there, and we were the first ones! We were early and the temple workers didn't even have everything ready yet! So we sat in the waiting room and they came to get us when things were ready.  While we were there, it was just us, and then 1 other lady with her 3 or 4 kids.  Dad baptized Mom and then she got out, sat on the stool and they confirmed her, then Dad did the same thing for me.  Then one of the temple workers baptized Dad.
As I was sitting there, watching Mom be baptized, I was trying to really focus on what was really happening.  I watched Mom go under and come back up, and each time that Dad said a new name, it was almost like Mom changed, and looked like a new person.  It was amazing.   She would go from her hair color, to a brunette, and then to a red head.  And from her hair length, to long hair, and back to short, or whatever.
That has never happened to me before.  But it was amazing.  It was such a fun time at the temple, and I'm excited to go back to Rexburg where we have a temple at the top of our hill :)

Through Different Eyes

The other night, I went to the church to get my temple recommend renewed.  One of these interviews with our bishop can take so long.  For us,  it took about 45 minutes.  The bishop talked for a while and then asked the first question.  I answered, and then he talked about it for a while, and then he asked the second one.  And so on and so forth.  But he said a couple things that I thought were so interesting! 

First of all, he talked about how a lot of people think of the Priesthood as this one thing. But really it has 4 parts: 

1. Birthright

2. Keys

3. Authority 

4. I can't remember  :(

But then the thing that I really found interesting was when we were talking about how President Monson is the only one on Earth that holds all the keys of the Priesthood.  But how he only holds the keys given to man.  He talked about how Christ has 3 more keys of the Priesthood that haven't been given to man. 

1. The Key of Creation

2. The Key of Death

3. The Key of Hell 

That's why He had the ability to create the world. That's why He could overcome death.  And that's why He will have the ability to be the judge at the final judgement.  

I thought that it was so interesting! After he said all that, I look up at the picture of the Savior that was behind the bishop, and I saw Him so much different that I had before.  It was so powerful! When I looked at Him this time, and every time since, I don't only see Jesus, but I look into His eyes and I see the ultimately worthy Priesthood holder.  I see a man that can literally save us.  I don't really know how to explain it, but it was powerful.  I truly saw Him through different eyes. And I still see Him like that every time I see a  picture of our Savior.  Try it. At least once.  It is powerful!